CORRECTIONS

Our elevator isn't really broken; you can stop taking the stairs.

We reported a Paula Abdul sighting at Platinum Island. Actually, it was Southside Johnny.

Pascual Perez is the pitcher who couldn't get off the exit ramp; brother Carlos is the one charged with rape and sodomy. Very easy to mix up.

Andrew Giuliani has not been adopted by foster parents; no adoption agency would allow Stu Spasm to take kids home. Not sure how this mistake got by.

Dick Dahl cited for frequent visits to Varick St. "whorehouse;" typographical error, should've said "warehouse" (sorry)

We thought 18th Dye were touring again. You can't be right 24 hours a day.

Former Matador exec. Johan Kugelberg is not "Lt. Governor of Southern California," no such office exists (consider yourself warned).

There is nobody in Jonathan Fire*eater named "Jonathan" (this is really their mistake, not ours).