Singled Out

In a sealed-off studio on planet Singled Out, finalists get two choices--internet or interwet? cry or sue? At this point, the contestant has already narrowed a studio-full of potential dream dates down to three. And these, having met the established criteria (having big or small breasts, chest hair or no chest hair, etc.), face a grueling game of matching the contestant's choices--pictures or articles, Priestly or beastly--to win his or her affections.

MTV's new ratings coup is a modern Dating Game, only better--more choices, more dates, more skin. Trés '90s! Contestants make zero pretensions of getting to know the other parties--that's part of the joke. Like the original, the dater is separated from the datees so that his/her decision isn't based strictly on physical appearance; otherwise there'd be no reason to ask any questions.

The show's such an easy target, I keep waiting for a contestant to make fun of it; someone who'll take the high road and refuse to, say, talk dirty to a houseplant; someone to relate to, a protagonist. But nothing like that happens. Instead, what goes on on Singled Out seems to take place in a parallel universe where there's no one of interest and yet everyone wants to be singled out... except that, uh, people are singled out in the un-televised universe all the time. And this is what makes Singled Out so offensive and yet so poignant: it succinctly captures the horror of dating. By subtly, very subtly, provoking viewers to consider their own preferences for fast or slow walkers, big butts or small butts Singled Out flags the irrationality and randomness of what turns anyone on or off (assuming those are the two choices). The message, a time-worn and yet inspired cliché, is clear: dating is stupid.

That many viewers do NOT see Singled Out as some kind of hell underscores the irony. College dorm rooms and fraternities nationwide (Virginia Tech, Univ. of Missouri) have started holding the Singled Out-inspired mixers ("a fun way to get to know each other"), GLAAD of San Franciso has organized a movement requesting gay and lesbian represation on the show. And on the World Wide web, the only anti-SO sentiments are headquartered on a Beavis and Butt-head site, the creator of which hates the show 'cos it cuts into B&B programming time.