culled from the forthcoming ‘Just Farr A Laugh, Vol. I & II’ double CD.

(Beth and Adam from Times New Viking, using the Bowery Ballroom stage as a mere tune up for Austin’s super swank Soho Lounge. Pic swiped from Rafe Baron’s Flickr page)

I won’t be wearing a “Welcome To Austin : Now Fuck Off” tee next week, mostly because a) I hate slogans and b) there’s too much ketchup on the shirt to wear it in public (again). However, in the interests of keeping you, our close friends, fully informed, we’ve assembled as complete a list as possible of all the events various Matador recording artists are playing next week during the South By Southwest Clusterfuck ™. Please be advised that we’re gonna list the officially sanctioned SXSW events separately from the day parties, after hours bashes, gigs in non-participating clubs, etc., because we don’t wanna mislead anyone. Much like everything good in this world, the below gigs are subject to change. If you can’t get in, there’s undoubtedly something else going that’s not nearly as crowded a few feet away.

OFFICIAL SXSW “Showcases” (like plastic lucite!)

Wednesday, March 13 – Shearwater, Club DeVille, 1am (Brooklyn Vegan party)

Thursday, March 14 – Yo La Tengo, Austin Music Hall, 9:30pm (with My Morning Jacket)
Thursday, March 14 – Jay Reatard, Vice, 302 E. 6th Street 10:30pm
Thursday, March 14 – Times New Viking, Soho Lounge, 217 E. 6th St., 12:30am (Siltbreeze showcase)

Friday, March 15 – Earles & Jensen Present The History Of The Prank Call, Esther’s, 525 E. 6th St., 10:30pm (Super Deluxe showcase)

UNOFFICIAL, NOT CONNECTED TO SXSW-AT-ALL (OTHER THAN TAKING ADVANTAGE) SHOWS :

Wednesday, March 12 – Shearwater, The Mohawk, 4pm (Austinist/Gothamist party)
Wednesday, March 12 – Times New Viking, La Zona Rosa, 10pm (Free Yr Radio/Urban Outfitter party)

Thursday, March 13 – Jay Reatard, French Legation Museum, 5pm (Other Music party)
Thursday, March 13 – Times New Viking, French Legation Museum, 6pm (Other Music party)

Friday, March 14 – Jay Reatard, Emo’s Main Room, 1:30pm (Pitchfork/Windish Booking party)
Friday, March 14 – Yo La Tengo, French Legation Museum, 4pm (Other Music party)
Friday, March 14 – Times New Viking, Emo’s, 4pm (Pitchfork/Windish Booking party)
Friday, March 14 – Jay Reatard, Vice Day Stage, 1106 E. 11th Street, 4pm
Friday, March 14 – Shearwater, French Legation Museum (Other Music party)

Saturday, March 15 – Shearwater, Mess With Texas 2, Waterloo Park, 1:30pm
Saturday, March 15 – Earles & Jensen, Mess With Texas 2, Waterloo Park, 2:30pm
Saturday, March 15 – Jonathan Meiburg of Shearwater, Spiderhouse Cafe, 2908 Fruth Street, 3pm
Saturday, Match 15 – Jay Reatard, Mess With Texas 2, Waterloo Park, 5:15pm
Saturday, Match 15 – Times New Viking, Waterloo Records instore, 3pm

(a full list of the official SXSW gigs)

(a nearly full collection of unofficial gigs, parties, etc.)

(an actual Party Doctor. Don’t get him started about “Scrubs”)

The Party Doctor is apparently well known on the hospital circuit. At any rate, this young woman is remarkably receptive to his blandishments. The latest installment in pre-release MP3s from Earles & Jensen‘s upcoming (April 22) double CD of prank phone calls, ‘Just Farr A Laugh, Vol. 1 & 2′:

“The Party Doctor” MP3

The duo are seen here under the thumb of Jerry Lawler:

We’ve edited a few of our favorite moments from the forthcoming Earles & Jensen “Just Farr A Laugh Vol. 1+2” album into free mp3 format ringtones. You can finally satisfy your desire to have Bleachy, Tim Butler, and Christopher FUCKING Cross announce themselves on your cell phone over and over and over. Pick them up here.

at Piano’s Jan. 20th 2008

Every Sunday at midnight, or at least first thing Monday morning, I On-Demand (my verb) the next Wire episode. So, this morning while I’ve been trudging through other concerns, the 2/3 episode has played twice in the background. I won’t give anything away, but let’s just say that McNulty offers his critical take on Dead Meadow. No, let’s just say that Marlo’s people make a buy at a Dead Meadow show. No, let’s just say that Dead Meadow play a secret show at the mission. No, let’s just say that Senator Clay Davis rocks some Dead Meadow in the car. No, let’s just say that I’m more than a little stressed about this Just Farr A Laugh legal problem. For real.

(photo by Jesper Eklow)

Here is the fourth MP3 from the upcoming Earles & Jensen Present: Just Farr A Laugh double CD. It’s entitled “Bleachy And The .99 Cent Big Bufords,” and we’ll let the track speak for itself:

Bleachy And The .99 Cent Big Bufords

I’m sorry to be the one to break the following bit of bad news — mostly because there’s a ton of other people on the payroll and I oughta be taking fencing lessons or something — but Matador’s release of the forthcoming Earles & Jensen presentation ‘Just Farr A Laugh, Vol. I & II‘ has been pushed back to April of this year.

There have been a number of recent developments with the lavish packaging for this double CD masterpiece (apparently, retailers and environmentalists alike took a dim view of our plans to reintroduce the popular “longbox” configuration) , but our latest obstacle has appeared courtesy of Hawaiian attorney Peter Giftopolous (above).

Giftopolous, whom I will charitably describe as an ambulance chaser, has made himself available to persons who feel they’ve been personally or professionally demeaned, degraded or defamed by the contents of ‘Just Farr A Laugh’. It would appear he’s preparing for some sort of class-action suit against Matador, with the timing no doubt meant to coincide with the (hopefully high) Billboard chart entry of Cat Power’s ‘Jukebox’ next week.

I think I speak for most of the Matablog’s readers when I decry this sort of abuse of our legal system. Surely the founding fathers didn’t have this kind of vulture-style behavior in mind when this country seceded from Canada. I can’t say much more than that on the advice of Matador’s own legal counsel, but rest assured the label is standing behind Andrew Earles and Jeff Jensen, 100%.

Unless this gets really expensive. In which case they’re out on their ass, just like Liz Phair.

NSFW. Unless you work at home or a piercing shop.  From the inexplicably delayed Earles & Jensen presentation ‘Just Farr A Laugh, Vol. I & II’.

Contrary to popular belief, our armed forces are actually quite picky. (mp3)

The world needs more comedy recordings like Chuck Scarborough needs another hole in the head. But the world needs more rock’n'roll records like Chuck needs two more holes in the head, so let’s leave the genre prejudice aside for a moment, shall we? I can honestly say the original release of Andrew Earles & Jeffrey Jensen’s ‘Just Farr A Laugh’ is the single most played compact disc in my household, automobile, yacht, etc. over the past 3 years. The rich, fully formed universe they’ve created with their mind-blowing phone calls (ok, billed as “pranks” but oh, so much more) has to this listener’s ears, transcended the mere comedy / spoken schtick bin and puts the duo in much more rarified territory. Rowan & Martin. Martin & Lewis. Oswald & Ruby. Peterson & Kekich. That’s the kind of company I’m talking about.

We’ll be releasing Earles & Jensen Present : Just Farr A Laugh Vol. 1 and 2 on the popular compact disc format February 19, 2008. Since my hands are so very tired, Andrew and Jeff have kindly composed a far more appropriate screed on this subject.

If you are a fan of Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk, Yes’ Tales from Topographic Oceans, the Hampton Grease Band’s Music To Eat, The Mothers of Invention’s Freak Out, Husker Du’s Zen Arcade, the Minutemen’s Double Nickels on the Dime, TFUL 282’s Mother of All Saints, and wish there was a prank call/comedy version of these wonderfully indulgent, macro masterpieces, well, it looks like February 19th is going to be your lucky day. That last sentence is a thinly-veiled way to say that unless you are promotionally serviced by Matador Records or rank amongst the contributors, don’t expect a burn or freebie.

The double CD set constitutes the world’s greatest collection of prank phone calls. Included in the package will be a book (not booklet) of drawings, photographs, and writing, all courtesy of multiple contributors. It’s a virtual who’s who that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but nonetheless creates a wonderful companion to the recorded works.

A short list of artists that contributed drawings: Mike Aho, Archer Prewitt, Devendra Banhart, Mark Henning, Ian Marshall, Gavin McInnes, Jake Oas, Aurel Schmidt, Matt Sweeney, and Megan Whitmarsh.

The entire list of writers that contributed forewords: Gregg Turkington (AKA Neil Hamburger, comedy genius, writer, Warm Voices Rearranged), Matador’s Gerard Cosloy, David Dunlap Jr. (writer, Washington City Paper, Memphis Flyer, funny guy), and master humorist/writer Neil Pollack (books: Alternadad, The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature, Never Mind The Pollacks: A Rock and Roll Novel, editor/contributor: Akashic’s Chicago Noir).

Along with writer Ian Christe and artist Steve Keene, Jeffrey Jensen founded modern day Brooklyn NYC around 1992, during the Dinkins administration. He has written or directed the films The Low Down Dirty D.A.W.G.S. (1999), Street Boogie (2001, shelved), and Graceland Too: The Movie (still in production). An accomplished artist, Jeff is known for his puppet shows, intricate nightlight dioramas, and evenings of vast entertainment, as well as anything else you could possibly think of. With his incredibly magnetic personality, Mr. Jensen has left a lasting mental imprint on anyone lucky enough to have spent over an hour in his presence. Jeffrey has played in many bands, including The Closet Case, The Jewish, The Star Spangles, plus he was the bass player for Homestead Records recording artists Smack Dab. He drives a 1982 Chrysler Lebaron, contributes regularly to Vice Magazine, and was accidentally shot with a .22 rifle when he was 13-years-old.

Andrew Earles is a writer and loosely-defined humorist that lives in Memphis, TN. His words regularly appear in The Onion A/V Club, Spin, Harp, Magnet, Vice, Paste, Chunklet, and The Memphis Flyer…among others. He founded The Cimarron Weekend in 1997, co-publishing and co-editing said argument-starter with David Dunlap Jr. until 2001. Four or five people like to claim that it was a great zine. From 2001 until late 2006, Andrew was a regular contributor to Tom Scharpling’s The Best Show on WFMU. As far as books go, his essays have appeared in the now out-of-print Lost In The Grooves (Routledge) and remainder table favorite, The Overrated Book (Last Gasp). He is a core contributor to The Rock Bible, to be published by Quirk in 2008. Most of his attempts at live comedy have failed miserably. Andrew is a proud Southerner and amateur, wanna-be outdoorsman that loves to fish, act like he knows a lot about animals, and walk around in the woods. He sometimes has a smart mouth, yet against all logic, has yet to receive that long-overdue ass-whomping (not an invitation). This is his blog: www.failedpilot.com

Jeffrey Joe Jensen and Andrew Scott Earles are Leo’s, reliably carrying all of the negative and positive baggage of that particular sign. Amazingly, and unknown to the duo until several years ago, they share the exact same birthday of August 15th.

“Bedroom ETA: A Jermaine Stewart Cover Band” (mp3)
“My Friends Call Me Ditchweed. Don’t Ask. OK, Go Ahead and Ask” (mp3)