Abel Raises Cain (2004)

In the odd world of media hoaxers and merry pranksters, Alan Abel ranks as an unappreciated superstar. He spent his life under the radar, mocking conservative mores and putting on the media. Abel’s daughter, filmmaker Jenny Abel, offers an unflinchingly intimate portrait of her eccentric father (codirected with Jeff Hockett). Following her 80-year-old dad around with a video camera as he embarks on his latest prank (a campaign to ban breast-feeding), Jenny explores the loving and unique relationship he has shared with his wife Jeanne for the last 42 years, while also chronicling the highlights of his mad career: the Society for Indecency to Animals (“A nude horse is a rude horse”); not to mention Euthanasia Cruises, the KKK Symphony Orchestra and Omar’s School for Panhandling. Wonderful archival footage reveals a deadpan con man who took particular delight in infuriating television talk-show icons like Phil Donahue. While some have questioned Abel’s true motivation (revolutionary anarchist or media menace?), Jenny Abel focuses on the humor behind the scams, as well as the underlying message: Don’t believe everything the media tells you.
(2005 SF International Film Festival)

http://www.couldntyouwait.com

http://www.myspace.com/couldntyouwait

Belle & Sebastian's Stuart Murdoch is looking for vocalists for the musical film, 'God Help The Girl' which he has been developing over the last year or so. To do this, he has teamed up with iMeem to conduct a search for female vocalists who are interested in taking part. At the God Help The Girl profile you can read much more about the project and, if you are interested, submit a version of one of two songs for his consideration.

You can read Stuart's introduction to "God Help The Girl" here and even if you are not considering entering – drop by and join up with iMeem to keep up with the project and hear the songs – 'The Psychiatrist Is In' and a  new version of  'Funny Little Frog' as sung by Catherine Ireton.

Good luck!

10/9 – Pittsburgh at the Warhol Museum
10/10 – Bloomington at Buskirk Chumley
10/11 – Chicago at the Lakeshore Theatre
10/13 – Grand Rapids at Calvin College
10/18 – Bennington, VT at Bennington Center for the Arts
10/19 – Long Island at Jeanne Rimsky
10/20 – Woodstock at Colony Cafe
10/22 – Philadelphia at First Unitarian Church Sanctuary
10/23 – Alexandria, VA at the Birchmere
11/10 – North Adams, MA at MassMoca

The Freewheeling Yo La Tengo Tour is a rare opportunity to see this ever-surprising band in a setting more intimate and interactive than any tour in their 23-year career.   A little bit Storytellers, a little bit Unplugged, with a soupcon of their famously varied Hanukkah shows, it will feature the band playing an almost-acoustic set of songs from their entire catalog, with stories about their life as a band, and an encouraged back-and-forth with the audience. Already famous for never playing the same show twice, this fresh look at Yo La Tengo offers rare insight into one of the most important, unique, and beloved bands in American rock.

Further dates will be announced soon.

Yo La Tengo's covers of Bob Dylan's "I Wanna Be Your Lover" and "Fourth Time Around" will appear on the forthcoming 2XCD soundtrack album (Columbia) to Todd Haynes' "I'm Not There".   Cat Power and Stephen Malkmus are amongst the album's other contributors.

"The Summer" – October 15, 2006  KEXP session (mp3)
"I Feel Like Going Home" -October 7, 2006: KCMP (mp3)

For the second time this summer, I have to ask, what's with all the hidden cameras at 304 Hudson Street?  ("Great World Of Sound" opens in New York on September 14)

…how many times have you seen "Shrek 3" today?

Since many of the staff, management and ownership of your 2nd or 3rd fave rock'n'roll imprint are big fans of the Hal Hartley oeuvre, now would be an opportune moment to plug the forthcoming release of the writer/director's "Fay Grim".

Starring Parker Posey, Jeff Goldblum, Leo "Surviving Bubbles" Fitzpatrick, and Hartley vets Elina Löwensohn, James Urbaniak, James Montgomery and D.J. Mendel, "Fay Grim" has been described as a continuation of 1997's "Henry Fool".  While we've not seen it ourselves, you can check out the trailer here. 

"Fay Grim" premieres on the Mavs-tastic HDNet Movies channel May 18, and will be available on the popular DVD format, May 22.

Aside from our being just-plain-nuts about Hal's films ("The Unbelievable Truth", "Trust", "Simple Men" and the aforementioned "Henry Fool" most prominently), there's also an ever-so-slight Matador connection here. Not only did we have the good fortune to release the soundtrack album to "Amateur" in 1994 (a project that did not quite meet the approval of the Zip Code Rapists), but Hal lent his directorial talents to Yo La Tengo's "From A Motel 6" video the same year.

As luck would have it, our close pals at Atlantic Records threw a minor shit fit when they saw what Hal came up with.  In desperation, we turned to esteemed "video doctor" and noted musician David Kleiler to come up with a more commercially acceptable substitute. And while version 2 met with no small acclaim (and with all due respect to David), many of us still prefer Hal's meditation on the song. 

It's like someone had a hidden camera in our offices.  Kitties Aren't People!!!

Friday's release of "Wild Hogs" was undoubtedly the comedy event of the year, and Utter Wonder didn't even need to see the film to know the picture's all-star quartet would prove irresistable.

I'll be really interested to see how Martin Lawrence does in the movie. He's black. He's also hilarious. I bet he'll be getting them in trouble because they'll be driving around places where there aren't a lot of black people and the racist locals will try to give them a hard time but good old Martin Lawrence won't be having any of that thank you very much and in the end we'll all learn a little something about ourselves and how black people are full of inner strength!

As for Travolta and Allen, well, what more is there to say? You just know they are gonna bring it! Those guys are pros! I don't mean they're prostitutes–I mean they're professionals. But if either of them played a prostitute in a movie they'd totally nail it. That's how good they are! And if either have took a prostitute in real life, I bet they'd treat her or him right and leave them a good tip. That's what kind of high-quality gentleman they are.

The following was culled from Early Man's mailing blast, but is far too delicious to remain un-cut and pasted :

Early Man has teamed up with the fine people who create the best show on television and contributed a song for the upcoming AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE COLON MOVIE FILM FOR THEATRES!!!

If you're from Boston, this is not a terrorist attack. I repeat, this is not a terrorist attack. It's just a bunch of songs for a movie. Put the guns away. Thanks.

I've been lazy in documenting all our recent activities, but here's a quick recap of the Matador Movie Club's movements over the past month or so:

• 20th December: Screening of R Kelly's 'Trapped In The Closet Pts 1-12'. This was a disaster. I expected loads of people to come and enjoy Mr Kelly's melodramatic opus, but sadly it was the worst-attended screening I've ever been to. And I once saw 'Robin Hood' (the Patrick Bergin version) halfway up a hill in Donegal. Disappointing. Still, Mike and Lucy were impressed. 
• 21st December: Pre-Beggars Xmas Party, the Matador Movie Club got ourselves in the party mood by going to see 'Zidaine',  a 90-minute art film consisting of 17 cameras all focussed on Zinedine Zidaine during a football match. Do any of us like football? No. But we love Mogwai, who provided the soundtrack. Indeed, the sound is the most impressive thing about 'Zidaine', particularly on a big loud Cinema sound system. Otherwise, it's a thought-provoking, but difficult piece of work – I felt like I'd learnt something about Zidaine by the time the film was over, but to be fair I didn't know anything about him before I went in. Now I know he's a footballer who scowls a lot. The poor guy looks like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. For 90 minutes. If that sounds like your kinda movie, it's out on DVD here in the UK this week.

And last night, the first Matador Movie Club outing of 2007 was to see a screening of 'Old Joy', which was scored by Yo La Tengo (meaning they did the music, not sorted out the tickets for us. I'm using film terms, keep up with me now). 'Old Joy' is the first film I've seen by Kelly Reichert, but I had been informed her style was in line with those of Harmony Korine, Vincent Gallo or Gus Van Sant's slower flicks (some of you have already started falling asleep, I'm sure). But I like films by the aforementioned auteurs, so I was psyched for another film where nothing happens for a while. Artfully. 

'Old Joy' stars Will Oldham (yeah, him) as Kurt, the kind of guy you used to hang out with when you were a teenager and probably wouldn't be that surprised if you found out that he was now homeless. Kurt calls up his friend Mark and invites him on a trip to the woods, where he's heard theres a really good hot springs. So they go. Uh-huh, that's the plot. But the plot's not that important, it's a film about the nuances of friendship, how it deteriorates and the emotions surrounding, to paraphrase Will Oldham himself,  'the letting go' of a relationship. To tell you any more about the film would probably involve me spoiling all the beautiful little details therein, and over-analysing it WAY too much. Will Oldham and Daniel London are effortlessly believable in their roles, relatable but distant in a very real way. The photography's wonderful – I love films that capture the universiality of working-class towns. And, of course, Yo La Tengo's score compliments the mood of the film perfectly – mournful, but strident. The twanging guitars took me back to 'Return To Hot Chicken' from 'I Can Hear The Heart Beating…', so I was very happy indeed. 

In essence if you think you can handle a very slow film in which not a great deal happens, you'll be rewarded with a gentle, contemplative film about friendship and growing older. And you get to see Will Oldham in the nude, if you're interested in that kind of thing. Hot!

(struggling with the chords to "I Could See The Dude", but he'll get there eventually)

After the inaugural meeting of the Matador Movie Club to see Mission Of Burma's 'This Is Not A Photograph' a couple of months ago, we reconvened to check out our beloved Britt Daniel's contributions to the soundtrack of 'Stranger Than Fiction'. The Spoon mainman was working with Brian Reitzell on the score, who also worked on Sofia Coppola's 'Virgin Suicides' and 'Lost In Translation' with Air and Kevin Shields. That man is so hip and trendy, even knowing who he is makes you feel like you're Piers Martin. Aside from instrumental snippets of 'My Mathematical Mind' and 'I Turn My Camera On', the new Britt pieces are unobtrusive in the same way as Kevin Shields' were in 'Lost In Translation', and just as lovely. It should be noted that a flattering comparison to the quality of Kevin Shields' music is just about the highest praise I can offer. 

As for the film itself, the Matador Movie Club give 'Stranger Than Fiction' a cautious thumbs-up. Mike and Lucy had problems with the film's ending, and we were all a bit perplexed at how Maggie Gyllenhaal would ever find Will Ferrell attractive (but, having said that, who is good enough for Maggie Gyllenhaal? She's awesome). The Kaufman-esque plot of a man discovering that he is actually a character in a book that is being written that will end with his tragic death isn't really exploited for all the brain-warping potential that idea has; in fact certain ideas that are central to the plot at some points (the narration, the fact that Crick cannot control his own fate) are bandonned at others. But maybe we're being too critical of what is actually a very much above-average comedy – it does have Maggie Gyllenhaal in it, after all, and it's nice to see Emma Thompson in a dramatic role again. Dustin Hoffman was…Dustin Hoffman, and Buster from Arrested Development was in it as well, proving conclusively to me that no matter what role he takes from now on, he will always be Buster from Arrested Development (I mean that affectionately). Marc Foster's direction seems shaky, to be honest, there's no massive tonal shifts or anything, but there are certain points where the film forgets that it's a comedy – but maybe that's meta and intentional. But despite our misgivings, 'Stranger Than Fiction' is a sweet little film that you'd have to try very hard to dislike. With a wicked soundtrack, natch.

The Matador Movie Club's third outing will actually be an office screening of R Kelly's opus magnus 'Trapped In The Closet'. My critical faculties generally leave me around the point in part one where R Kelly sings 'I quickly tried to put on viiiiibrraaaaaatttte'. Slays me every time.

Words, even the rude ones, fail me. 

From the Associated Press:

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Robert Altman, the caustic and irreverent satirist behind "M-A-S-H," "Nashville" and "The Player" who made a career out of bucking Hollywood management and story conventions, died at a Los Angeles Hospital, his Sandcastle 5 Productions Company said Tuesday. He was 81.

Read the whole story HERE. 

Say what you will about the man's consistency, and any filmography that includes a Richard Gere gynaecology picture has some problems, but Altman was one of the most fearless directors in history.  I can think of few directors who were so willing to try new things, and fail.  And no one else got away with making such a long string of decently funded, uncompromisingly auteuristic films.  If people like Orson Welles had had Altman's gift for roping studios and stars to back his vision, well, the world might never have known a planet sized Transformer named Omicron.

"M.A.S.H," "Nashville," and "The Player" will inevitably dominate the public conversation, but for my money, his best were "Three Women," and "The Long Goodbye."

Salut, Robert Altman, you were great. 

(Roger Miller, as photographed by the Daily Californian's Peter Kim)

Mission Of Burma will return to the scene of some of their greatest artistic crimes triumphs on January 20, when they hit the boards of Commonwealth Avenue's Paradise Theatre.   Tickets are on sale now.

In addition, "Not A Photograph", the Mission of Burma documentary directed by Jeff Iwanicki and David Kleiler Jr., will be shown at Brookline, MA's Coolidge Corner Theatre on Tuesday, November 21 at 7PM.  The DVD version of "Not A Photograph" is being released by MVD the very same day, but only those attending the Coolidge Corner presentation will experience the joy of embarrassing Peter Prescott by asking him to sign a copy (plus the "Academy Fight Song" 7", old Volcano Suns set lists, etc.  If you've got something happening on eBay, this should be a great opportunity). 

Promo people take note: you might say that you've been pimping our bands real hard, but have you sat on Hollywood Blvd with a cow to publicise our product? Well?   

After a long and frankly depressing day, I arrived home at about 9 last night intending only to slip into a slow catatonia in front of the TV, but found my only real non-involving option was the new series of 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!' – not sure if you have a variation of this in the US, basically a bunch of people who quite patently are not celebrities are sent to Australia to eat insects or something – which didn't really seem like an option at all, despite the presence of smiley cello-playing, astronomy enthusiast Myleene Klass (she seems nice).

So instead, I decided to watch the new Steven Seagal opus 'Black Dawn'. I don't know if you've been keeping as close a watch on Seagal's recent activities as I have, but post-'Executive Decision' his films have gone from straight-to-video to straight-to-cable TV in Estonia. And then eventually, DVD releases. How can straight-to-DVD feel cheaper than straight-to-video? I don't know, but it fucking does. Anyways, theres a few constants in the last 12-odd films that he's made:

• In the international world of espionage, nobody is what they seem. Apart from Seagal. He's ex-CIA, he has a daughter and he just wants to live his life normally in Japan where people think he's a native because of his quiet restraint and knowledge of local customs. But the FBI keep trying to FUCK WITH HIM.
• Seagal is mainly filmed from the waist up. The reasons for this are sadly obvious, particularly when you notice that he's holding his coat together in every scene. Just buy a bigger coat, Steve.
• Speaking of which, he's abandoned the totally ridiculous coats of his early films – the ones that are three times as big as him, and have a wealth of tassles. Theose coats had a really great kind of 'Fuck you, it's a Native American thing, I'm going to wear a big coat and that's that' kind of vibe. I miss them.
• Beacuse of the only-filming-above-the-waist rule, theres a whole lot of hand-to-hand combat, even when a kick would be more useful. Hand-to-hand combat is, of course, just slapping someone very quickly. Seagal uses a gun a lot more these days too, cause actually running after someone would tire him out very easily.
• The baddies are always international terrorists. Their cause is often unclear, but their aim is always the same: kidnap Seagal's daughter. Not sure why they think this is a good idea, to be honest.
• Mystical shit. It used to be that Seagal would sneak in some philosophical elements to his Waner Bros. era films, most notably in 'On Deadly Ground' where he breaks somebody's neck in a bar fight, and then asks the horrified onlookers 'What does it take to change the essence of a man's soul?'. I had a few sleepless nights with that one, let me tell you. But Seagal has abandoned philosophy like he abandoned his big coats. Now his films have all kinds of weird mystical shit in them. Case in point: In 'Belly Of The Beast', Seagal takes time out from a car chase to visit a woman in the back of a shop, who takes her clothes off to reveal a message in chinese lettering glowing on her breasts. Then they disappear. I am not making this up.
• Seagal's one-liners are nowadays the kind of thing your mate's alcoholic dad used to grunt. 'You're a real piece of shit' was a highlight in Black Dawn.
• He generally runs into a protege of his during his adventures. She will be 20 years younger than him, and they will have sex. Of course you won't actually see this, but there again, why would you want to?

So, the one I watched last night was 'Black Dawn' and almost all the ingredients were there, save for two essentials: no kidnapped daughter, and no mystical shit. The plot concerned Seagal….oh, I can't remember, there was some plutonium being stolen and I think the Russians were the bad guys. At one point their evil leader says 'Don't dilly-dally' which makes me suspect that the actor playing him may not actually be russian. Anyways, a redeeming feature was just how degradingly cheap the thing was. There's some incredibly bad blue-screen work here that has to be seen to be believed – mostly during a scene where Seagal and his protege are escaping in a truck, and it looks like the background is a photograph that's being waved about by some hapless runner. During the truck chase theres a point where its fairly noticable that Seagal's stunt double is a) wearing a wig, and b) black, which kinda ruins the gritty realism of the piece. The big finish concerns Seagal throwing a nuclear bomb into the sea from a CGI helicopter, and the whole thing looks like a demo for the Sega Megadrive.

Still, it's Seagal, and I can't stay mad at him. At the end of the film, his protege answers a phone call inviting her to be honored by the President of The USA for saving the world and that, and Seagal, knowing that his work is done, waddles off into the sunset. He'll be back, and God help me, so will I.

"I dont' know what I want but I want it NOW"

Let us celebrate the DVD release (in the UK) of Vivian Stanshall's comic masterpiece "Sir Henry At Rawlinson End" . Originally released in 1980 and not readily available on VHS for some years I had not had the opportunity to submerge myself in the dark, complex and surreal world created by Stanshall until now. Should you enjoy a vision of the underside of olde English life with drink sodden aristocrats careless shooting at each other and at the lower orders and other barmy yet joyous behaviour this is the movie for you.

I look forward to my alcohol befuddled family Christmas, shot gun in hand.

"If I had all the money I'd spent on drink – I'd spend it on drink"

Very very sad to hear that Adrienne Shelly, object of affection for so many early-90s indie movie fans, passed away on Wednesday. Reason enough, if you need one, to bust out your copies of 'Trust', 'The Unbelievable Truth' and 'I'll Take You There' for a mini-retrospective. Our thoughts go out to her family and friends.

I think my ears are still ringing from the incredible loudness of the New Jersey Yo La Tengo show and I can still taste the buttery yumminess of the ‘Ass’ cookies (or should I say ‘arse’) baked by a friend of the band presented to Ira after the show. No, they certainly didn’t taste like ass. The Loewes Theatre was resplendent in it’s shabby chic, I especially liked the display of old candy wrappers they had discovered during the renovations, perhaps we should shove some ass cookies or Yo La Tengo flyers behind the seats to be unearthed in another hundred years.

Speaking of asses, has anyone seen the new John Cameron Mitchell movie “Shortbus”? I hear there’s a lot of ass in that one, although it has received several very positive reviews so I’m rather looking forward to seeing it, not least because the ass-kickers themselves, Yo La Tengo, scored it. Of course it hasn’t come out here in the UK yet but it is being debuted at The Times BFI London Film Festival later this month. As it happens to nearly coincide with Yo La Tengo’s extensive European tour the band have been invited to participate in a special event at the Film Festival where they discuss their contribution and composition for movies on October 31st. The focus will be on both “Shortbus” and the new Kelly Reichardt film starring Will Oldham, “Old Joy” also screening at the festival, whilst showing clips of other movie projects including the soundtracks for “Game 6″ and “Junebug” as well as their cameos in “I Shot Andy Warhol” and “The Book Of Life”. A must for all Yo La Tengo-fan-cinefiles and burgeoning film composers. Perhaps we can get some ‘Ass’ cupcakes for that one…

More info here:

Let’s not forget, of course, the upcoming dates:

NOVEMBER

Tue 7 – Cardiff – Point

Wed 8 – Gateshead – Sage

Thu 9 – Cambridge – Junction

Sat 11 – London – Forum

The Mission Of Burma documentary, 'Not A Photograph', showed yesterday at the ungodly hour of 4pm in merry London town as part of the Raindance Film Festival. So, Lucy, myself and our best-ever intern Alice (well, better than the last one) went to check out Burma on the big screen. Now, for me, music documentaries are generally tortuous – conveying what music means and how it is created must one the hardest things to do in cinema, and music docs mostly end up being increasingly self-important extended EPKs, which is boring for everyone. Burma don't do boring. Despite covering a pretty large timespan (and cultural shift), 'Not A Photograph' zips by. It covers Burma's origins and active years without mythmaking or romance (someone states, pretty matter-of-factly 'They were terrified of success'), and their early days still seem like the most exciting time to have been involved in US underground music. If you get the opportunity, seeing this in a cinema is a treat – all the archive footage on a large screen and loud soundsystem is totally worth it. Highlights:

• Clint's wife explains that she had no idea that Roger was in a successful rock group. And has no idea who Nirvana were. Michael Azerad is horrified.
• The New York show where Ira from Yo La Tengo, Richard Baluyut from Versus (Lucy was excited about that one) and Moby, from, um, Moby, all played guitar on one song.
• The other New York show where Thurston Moore and Lee Renaldo from Sonic Youth play guitar.
• The Burma historian. That guy is animated.
• Clint's niece: 'They're a little on the weird side'.
• Roger refers to the band as 'legendary'. The rest of the band crack up.

All in all, I guess the documentary did it's job, cause when I got home I listened to 'Vs' and 'The Obliterati' back to back, and will probably do the same today. You can buy the DVD at www.notaphotograph.com. And you should.

If you were wondering what to get Mogwai’s Stuart Braithwaite for Christmas this year, here’s a hint : Lego Star Wars for the PSP.

(from left to right : Braithwaite, Ewok)

An interview with Stuart can be found at the official Star Wars website

Mogwai’s contributions to the original score of Darren Aronofsky’s “The Fountain” can be heard next week when the long awaited followup to “Requiem For A Dream” is screened at Austin’s Alamo South as part of the 2006 Fantastic Fest. Aronofsky will be on hand for a little Q and A, and prior to “The Fountain”, they’ll be showing René Laloux’s “Fantastic Planet”.

Mogwai headline Glasgow’s Barrowlands tomorrow night, and they’ll be at the Manchester Academy on Sunday.

The LA Times’ Lorenza Muño on Fox’s new Christian film division.

In February, Yordy unveiled the FoxFaith logo at the National Religious Broadcasters convention in Nashville, bringing the normally skeptical crowd to its feet. Seeing the label on the big screen formalized the commitment from Fox, Yordy said.

Inside a massive white tent across from the Denver Convention Center, a studio-sponsored event had all the earmarks of a Hollywood fete: a lavish buffet, an exclusive movie preview of 20th Century Fox’s upcoming family-friendly horse drama “Flicka” and acrobats from Cirque du Soleil. Because it was a Christian convention, no alcohol was served and the performers’ costumes were inspected to ensure demure necklines.

Biopic of iconic figures from our own lifetime are usually fraught with peril. In the rare case of an interesting reading (Gary Oldham as Sid Vicious, Anthony Hopkins as Richard Nixon), it’s almost impossible to escape the shadow of the real persona. In the more common example of a poorly conceived, badly written, sloppily directed and hopelessly miscast project (Michael Chiklis as John Belushi, Dwayne Adway as Dennis Rodman, Powers Boothe as Jim Jones, Steve Railsback as Charles Manson) even the lowest of expections are left unfullfilled.

VH1′s “Meat Loaf : To Hell & Back” — witnessed on a JetBlue flight from New York to Austin the other night — doesn’t just fall into the latter category, it might be the Grandaddy Of All Shit Made-For-Cable movies. Factual mistakes galore. Lots of screaming. Inexplicable plot twists. The biggest collection of crap haircuts ever displayed outside of Williamsburg.

(Incredibly, the film is not redeemed one iota by the small screen prescence of David Kleiler, the former Sorry/Volcano Suns guitarist turned video and film director.)

Anyhow, with this black mark on the reputation of Marvin Lee Aday squarely in mind, I share with you the EPK for the new Meat Loaf opus, ‘Bat Of Out Hell III : The Monster Is Loose’ (quicktime required).

….and neither is heavy advertising on Comedy Central.

From the AP :

Following the news early Thursday of a terrorist plot to blow up in-flight passenger airplanes, executives at Paramount Pictures considered scaling back advertising for the new Oliver Stone film, “World Trade Center,” which opened nationwide Wednesday.

Ultimately, with executives and other analysts unable to predict how moviegoers, unsettled by the news events, will be affected, the studio decided not to change its in-place marketing plans.

No decision was reached, however, to pull a unfunny-under-any-circumstances Sierra Mist spot from Comedy Central’s late night programming Thursday, that featured Michael Ian Black’s fruity fizzy drink being confiscated by thirsty airport security staff (played by Jim Gaffigan and Kathy Griffin).

Given the current sensitivity to the issue, we might not see that ad nearly as often in the days ahead. That said, PepsiCo has shown a willingness to have some fun with a serious moment in history, so perhaps we can look forward to a series of comedic vingettes about the long-term effects of heavy benzene consumption.

Certainly not to take anything away from the very excellent Not a Photograph:The Mission of Burma Story that I was pleased to see this past Saturday evening at the Walter Reade Theater as part of the “Play It Loud: Rock Docs ’06″ festival (btw the second – and last – screening is this Thursday at 9:15 PM – don’t miss it!), but You’re Gonna Miss Me, the documentary on former 13th Floor Elevators frontman Roky Erickson, is just about the most harrowing thing I’ve seen since, well, the Mavs’ NBA Finals meltdown. No, seriously, this movie is one of the most emotionally riveting things I’ve ever seen, and I was glued to my seat. The tale of Roky’s return from the near dead, thanks to his very weird but talented younger brother Sumner Erickson has to be seen to be believed.

New York viewers will be sad to note that tonight’s showing is the last one in the festival, but I’m sure it’ll be screening again sometime very soon. Additionally, those of you not living in the film capital of these United States should be sure to visit the news page on the You’re Gonna Miss Me web site for updated screening information.

Fetishizing US black pop culture is something of a given when it comes to blogging – especially for us Europeans, who pre-internet would probably never have come across Texas rap’s preoccupation with cough syrup and DJ Screw, hyphy, ghostriding etc.

The Diplomats are another one of those things I probably would have not had that much exposure to were it not for blogs. They never seemed to get any special attention on hip-hop radio in England before the Byrd Gang mixtapes, but on the internet, they were superstars. All of this is a precursor to the fact that I finally got around to seeing the film made by Diplomats head honcho Cam’Ron, ‘Killa Season‘. Now, theres a lot of valid discussion about the veiled racism involved in justifying some of the more objectionable aspects of The Diplomats’ lyrics (amounting to ‘The funny way that black people talk entertains me, therefore it is not real’), but Cam’Ron specifically is at his best when he’s too surreal to be taken seriously. When he drops the flights of fancy and just does standard trap-music, detailing street life, he’s eloquent, but kinda dull. Sadly, ‘Killa Season’ is a whole lot of the latter.

To be fair, the odds were stacked against this one from the start. For the film to be a true representation of Cam’Ron and Dipset, ‘Killa Season’ would have to have been directed by Michael Bay, and involve a 50ft tall Cam’Ron crushing anyone ‘rocking sandals with jeans’, repeatedly telling us of his new album’s release date, and boasting about his sexual prowess. Of course, Hollywood was never going to be ready for Cam’s vision, so he funded and directed it himself. And if you think his mixtape cuts are interminably long self-aggrandising mythology, you’ll marvel at how well he’s managed to bring that to the silver screen. I won’t lie, I fell asleep. I mean, it starts off well – Cam gets in a scuffle at a dice game, breaks a bottle over someone’s head and then urinates on him while repeating ‘No homo, no homo’ for what seems like forever….it’s bizarrely paced and pretty funny. Unfortunately, the film is two and a half hours long, and at least two hours of that is Cam scowling in a badly-lit shop. To be fair, there is a montage of him wearing different fur coats at one point, and a gloriously surreal moment where Cam murders somebody on his bicycle, which almost slips by your WTF-ometer cause it’s played so straight. His acting skills are twofold: looking like he’s trying to figure out a sudoku puzzle (anger, fear, upset) and immense arrogance (everything else). His next filmic work is a documentary in which he beats up paedophiles, which sounds better in practically every way to ‘Killa Season’, but I’m still glad I saw it – if nothing else, I’ve seen Cam’Ron do a drive-by on a bike. So that’s something.

I was begining to feel a little guilty about the totally gratuitious jibes aimed at thespian/cretin Colin Farrell in the latest edition of the Matador News Update. I mean, for one thing, we should be totally grateful that the producers of “Miami Vice” have chosen to showcase one of our fledgling artists (in this case, Mogwai) on a major label soundtrack album (one that features the former vocalist of the Vatican Commandos, too!). But no, I had to fuck things up for everyone by focusing on something completely besides the point — How Much Colin Farrell Sucks.

Well, I’m not the only one. The New York Times’ A.O. Scott, while hailing Michael Mann’s “Miami Vice” as “an action picture for people who dig experimental art films, and vice versa,” also choose to single out one of the film’s stars for special praise. Colin Farrell isn’t one of them.

Mr. Farrell, however, is a movie star only in the sense that Richard Gephardt is president of the United States. He’s always looked good on paper, and he’s picked up some endorsements along the way — from Oliver Stone, Joel Schumacher and Terrence Malick, among others — but somehow it has never quite happened. Here he squints and twitches to suggest emotion and slackens his lower lip to suggest lust, concern or deep contemplation, but despite his good looks he lacks that mysterious quality we call presence.

Mr. Mann’s script has its share of silly, overwrought lines, but they only really sound that way in Mr. Farrell’s mouth. (Did he really say, “I’m a fiend for mojitos”? ¡Dios mío!) When he’s not on screen, you don’t miss him, and when he is, you find yourself, before long, looking at someone or something else. Gong Li. A boat. A lightning bolt illuminating the humid summer sky.

Turning the greatest domestic tragedy of our time into cold hard cash is no walk in the park. Just ask Dick Cheney! But seriously folks, yesterday’s New York Times told the tale of Paramount Pictures employing WWE-hating morality maven L. Brent Bozell and Creative Response Concepts — the same folks who worked as paid advisers to Swift Boat Veterans For Truth — in their marketing of Oliver Stone’s forthcoming “World Trade Center”.

Rob Moore, president of worldwide marketing, distribution and home entertainment for Paramount, said he would have hired the firm regardless of who had directed the movie, because of its strong elements of Christian faith and its depiction of men sacrificing themselves for one another: “the definition of patriotism,” he said.

That’s not actually a definition of patriotism, but perhaps Moore meant to say “unselfishness”. In any event, Thursday’s Los Angeles Times outlined Paramount’s plans to promote the group to a slightly different demographic.

“Every generation has a defining moment,” says the voice-over of a 30-second TV spot aimed at the under-25 crowd that began airing this week. The melodic “Fix You” by rock group Coldplay plays as the screen goes black and three words appear in stark white letters: “This Was Ours.”

Though that must be one heck of a commercial, it sounds suspiciously like an idea I proposed to Paramount’s marketing department several years ago when we were making plans for the “Brain Candy” soundtrack. Of course, Coldplay didn’t exist at that point, but that’s part of what made the concept so daring for that day and age.